Unfiltered Content of the Mind

Sorry, Blogger

2009-03-19T16:17:00.004-05:00

Sorry, Blogger. You're no fun any more. I wish we could keep this relationship going, but it would be bad for both of us. I found a new blog, tumblr and she's so web 2.0 that it makes you look bad.

I'll need my creativity back too. Sorry.

http://echoaa23.tumblr.com/

Erik

To those of you who've stumbled upon this, as of March 19, 2009 I'm moving operations to Tumblr. Now this gets to

collect dust in the archives of the internet, destined to fade into the gloom of some forgotten hard drive. There it will

rest, locked in the spinning platters until, some day, it finally grinds to a stop. The victim of some minute hardware failure,

the contents will become mere ghosts of the internet, phantasms of a different decade. -E

Norm MacDonald

2009-02-11T18:37:00.002-05:00

I had to post this. It's hilarious.

...and Gordon Ramsay gets pissed.

No Posts since November.

2009-01-31T19:55:00.004-05:00

Yes, I know. No updates. I'm lazy and luckily, no one reads this thing (mostly). However, I've finally got a bit of free time and I'm working on a few ideas. Laughter is an upcoming topic, as is language and state dependent memory. I'm also trying to put together a College Tips (pt.2).

Until then, enjoy this. It's a bash.org worthy conversation I had the other day via gchat.

Real Major Classes

me: nah. That's why you only do a quarter bottle of tequila
puts you right on the line
　
Andrew: haha
　
me: didn't they teach you that in health class?
　
Andrew: no...
"Overdose" isn't until my senior year, right before the capstone
　
me: ah
right
Ad majors do the overdose class first. Nature of the industry
　
Andrew: you need too
yes
i would think so
"Fuck Over Your Co-worker" is the pre-req tho isn't it
　
me: Yeah, it's part of the Backstabbing and Extortion theme
You're supposed to match it with the Mass Exploitation minor
but some choose "Instilling Rampant Consumerism in Children" instead, which I think is the better option
　
Andrew: easily
i'm doing the Dr Kavorkian(spl?) and other medical mass murderers theme
I love it so far
　
me: ah, does that include the "Dodging Lawsuits" class?
　
Andrew: "Nazi Concentration Camps and the Science Experiments that Followed" is what i'm in right now
no
i wish
　
me: Ooh, isn't that a precursor to the Tuskeegee Experiments class
great one, that
　
Andrew: ..do you hear this conversation
...i'm shaking my head
but am grinning
so i dunno
　
me: it's great
I should write a blog post based on it
　
Andrew: its like accepted
where we can make our own classes
...but
well....its us
so
*-----End Conversation----*

Draft - Communication

2008-11-26T18:04:00.006-05:00

I've posted this draft of my next entry to my blog. It's not refined, I've used this space to get the ideas out. Now, I'll rearrange, edit and repost. If you've got feedback, let me know either here or via e-mail, facebook, etc...

There is a fragile and fiendishly complex system for governing human interaction. Every exchange is so loaded with years of accumulated experience and emotional weight that it's a miracle that we can communicate at all. Yet, despite all the odds, we have conquered this system and done so wholly unconsciously. In fact, we've developed even more layers of complexity on top of those, with the telephone, television and the Internet.

Humans are an analogue system, information is clouded by interference on all sides and in between. I mean to say A, which gets garbled into B because I'm tired and misspeak. The person on the other end of the phone that I'm speaking with hears C, because my connection is bad. They interpret it as D, because they're angry with their landlord.

Put this mess into a group setting and you have your very own social experiment. You can find models of these kind of things around, but because of our relatively poor understanding of how the mind actually operates, I suspect that they remain rudimentary compared to what they will be. The increasing on-line "presences" of people have begun to spawn early renditions of what will become a powerful tool in this respect. The individual components are already there, but no one has found a way to merge the data into coherence yet.

Sites like Digg and Reddit, Youtube, Google, Yahoo, Facebook, Myspace, Windows Live, and Wikipedia all hold bits of a cohesive personality, pieces of conciousness strewn across the internet.

Every time a person posts a response to a Youtube video or upmods a Digg story, puts a picture on Flickr or writes a status message in Facebook, they are revealing just a bit more about their psyche and how they use their experiences in communication within themselves and with others.

Now, this derives a bit into esoteric stuff, but suppose for a moment that someone had recordings of every second of your life. If that information could be distilled and made into something coherent and digital for a computer, a convincing amalgam of yourself could theoretically be generated and pass a Turing Test. It's not out of the realm of realistic supposition that if a computer had access to the complete set of information that you had percieved during your lifetime and could observe your output in the form of external action (actual action, emotion, etc) that patterns good enough to approximate yourself could be found and used to make a virtual clone of your personality.

The reason I say this with such confidence is because humans can do this innately with almost no information at all. We can usually make accurate general inferences on someone's personality based on only a few moments of observation and interaction (barring the Fundamental Error of Attribution and other flaws in judgement. We're working with theory. Conditions are optimal.) Given more time, we get close and closer to specificity. This is why you can tell if someone you meet is an asshole based on a few moments of interaction and why you can tell if a friend of several years is sad without even speaking to them.

This has digressed (necessarily) from my main points, however. This is all weird and interesting to think about, but does it have anything to do with social theory and human interaction?

Assuming the above is true, we then turn to our online presences. This is a bit of a warning and a suggestion. With the increasing use of the internet, we are transporting indirect but almost completely accurate (the internet clears a lot of interference problems up) slices of our conciousness and personality onto the web. I would say it isn't unusual for someone to have accounts on every one of those sites that I listed above. Personally, I've got accounts on all of those sites and those don't even form a meaningful percentage of the whole. At the very least, you've registered and even that says something. Imagine if there was a way to track that, to combine the whole of your internet usage into one place. Every site you ever visited, every file downloaded, everything. That kind of information combined with personality algorithms or even a semi sentinent AI like the kind being developed now, could make a pretty good guess at what's going on inside of your head.

On one hand, it's every marketer/advertiser's dream. Demographic nirvana. Half of the industry is dedicated to getting inside of the consumer's brain, figuring out what they want. How fantastic would it be to have a population-in-a-box that can give you answers whenever you please.

The obvious applications, however, are much darker. Government spies. Minority Report-esque criminal justice systems, control over the population that even Orwell couldn't imagine. I can't wait to see the first person convicted by testimony from the digital representation of themselves. It's a good angle for a lawyer to use, really. "Computers don't lie."

This seems like paranoia and granted, it is incredibly unlikely. However, I'm doing this as more a thought experiment than anything else. Take an idea and see where it leads. None of the things that I've suggested are far fetched in their individual realms. AIML, JOONE and SILVA are all AI languages that could in theory be used in part to develop an algorithm that could output a workable set of responses based on a set of patterns (a personality). There are also more aggregate sites and increased monitoring by ISP's (and some say the government) that bring the various elements of your online presence closer together. Try searching for your most-used username on Google to get a rough idea of this. Using a combination of IP addresses, MAC addresses and usernames, you could theoretically almost track everyone now if you had the right infrastructure.

Random Update!!1!!111!oneone

2008-09-18T18:39:00.013-05:00

In lieu of my queue of brilliant, yet half finished posts, I will break the monotony of silence with this:

A magnificent, but sporadically maintained webcomic by Kimmo Lemetti (http://gotmorr.com/)

I recommend checking out some of his other work. I think that Gone With the Blastwave is the best, but I'm one for horrific and morbid humor anyway.

Jon Stewart, America's Anchor

2008-08-26T17:59:00.010-05:00

What do CNN, FOX, MSNBC and ABC all have in common? If you guessed "photos of Bristol Palin's baby daddy, shitty morning shows, and voodoo dolls of Jon Stewart in the breakroom," you would be a) amazing and b) someone who has watched television in the last month.

Illegitimate fathers and Fox & Friends aside, major networks are experiencing what I like to call "content stagnation." Viewers still watch their shows, but pay less attention. Networks have to try harder to break through their own static.

From a graphics standpoint, screens are becoming more cluttered and shiny. Moving backgrounds, day-glo color schemes and more lens flares than a photo of the sun make broadcasts look like insane kaleidoscopes. The average viewer is bombarded by more advertisements and news tickers than they have any hope of successfully digesting. Instead (and to the great consternation of the major news networks) they create a filter to the noise and focus in on the content with a voracity not seen since the heyday of TV. Unfortunately, many of the good, old school news anchors are gone, and those who are left are either bordering senility, or couldn't remember their own names if it weren't for a teleprompter.

So, where do people turn?

In an era of supposed globalization of the major news networks, high-technology solutions that make communication a snap and a vast pool of resources to draw on, the average newscast doesn't step outside of the boundaries of mainstream news reporting. There's little innovation that occurs on a scale that isn't superficial. Audiences know what's coming every time they turn on the TV.

In the search for fresh perspectives and what is perceived as honest reporting, American audiences have turned to the only television avenue they have left. Where CNN, Fox, MSNBC and CBS have failed, Comedy Central has succeeded. The irony befits the network titling. Jon Stewart's show is one of the only hard hitting broadcasts out there, even if it is hidden inside a comedy coating. The show presents the news in a way that is both entertaining and approaching factual.

I could write a book about the ways The Daily Show is doing it right, but I'll try to keep my reasoning condensed for reading.

The format of Stewart's show is the basis for it's success. It's a once daily injection of fresh perspective in a world of 24 hour news services. It's special, it's aired at a convenient time, and it's digestible. No droning pundits, no static. The Daily Show still utilizes all of the high quality graphics, but with a tongue in cheek approach (Indecision 08'). It's just as visually appealing to a viewer as the O'Reilly factor or any other primetime newscast. Also, Stewart has captured an audience that usually doesn't tune into news broadcast and had created in this audience a cultlike following both on air and online. Looking at the success of the web based services speaks for itself in terms of measuring what the Daily Show has done for online television services. Far more people are watching The Daily Show online than are watching Hardball. Stewart also contributes to the show's success as a personality. His sarcastic approach to broadcast has become a hallmark of the show and his deadpan delivery of punchlines is always good for a laugh. It's rare that even on the brink of economic collapse, we can still laugh at the news.

Maybe it's that last point that contains the magic formula. Take bad news, wrap it in cotton candy and feed it to the masses. The Daily Show is the Vikadin to the gnawing pain of reality. It allows the user to keep a grip on reality while putting it into perspective. The Daily Show exists as this counterpoint, it is the necessary shadow to the formatted information distributed by other major media. As John Stewart so eloquently put it "We sit in the back and throw spitballs--but never forgetting that it is a luxury in this country that allows us to do that."

Cultural SMACKDOWN

2008-08-17T06:36:00.006-05:00

Well, here it is folks. After months of preparation, stress, and outright panic, I've arrived to my home for the next five months. I've finally found a bit of time to breathe and reflect on my first week, but the details of my musings would be a bit schizophrenic (and boring), so I'll spare you.

However, what I can present are some of the things I have learned this week. Rather than going on and on about each idiosyncratic difference though, I'm going to provide a little comparative analysis in what will henceforth be called "NORWAY VS. USA: CULTURAL SMACKDOWN"

The title is catchy, I know.

In this little segment, each week I'm going to try to compare an aspect of life in Norway to a similar one in the United States. Each country will have to duke it out for supremacy and the winner gets bragging rights and a fancy gold belt to show their UN pals.

Now, I know, I know. I'm from the U.S. and therefore have a prejudice in my judgment, right? To that I ask you to consider only this: I come from Michigan. If that doesn't make sense, look us up in the news, under either "economic failure" or "embarrassment."

Now, without further ado, Our first match.

Transportation!

Norway:

Norway is famous for it's public transportation. All of it's happy people have the option to travel almost anywhere (in major cities, of course) using tram, metro or bus. You should never count on a Norwegian to be late, and that surely translates to their crisp efficiency in managing this system. It's sort of like a public transportopia. If they tire of that, there are always the well kept but reasonably traffic free roads that criss-cross the country. Drivers on the roads are generally courteous and won't run you down trying to get to Starbucks twenty-two seconds faster.

U.S.A.
Many major cities in the U.s. have extensive public transport systems and they are growing more and more common each year. Partially necessitated by rising gas prices and a crumbling infrastructure from existing systems, public transportation is an up and coming industry. However, New York trains aren't known for their promptness or uncrowded and orderly rides, and even the bus system that runs a ten minute loop to my school and back can't make it on time most days. However, where our public transport system fails, our personal transportation excels (sort of). Say what you will about gas guzzling trucks and fast cars, they are fun to drive. No complex laws, no (relative to Norway) ridiculous fines for speeding, no rules if a cop isn't around. Whereas you drive in Norway to get somewhere, sometimes you get somewhere just because you want to drive in the U.S.

K.O
Taking all the factors into consideration, getting places is more of an event in the U.S. However, if you want an assurance that you will get there, unruffled and on time,the practicality of Norwegian transportation edges out it's competitor.

Winner: Norway-SAN

Sci-Fix

2008-05-02T19:16:00.006-05:00

My friends, I have to admit that I have a terrible vice.

I'm addicted to sci-fi.

No matter how I try to repress it, hiding my old Star Wars books in the closet, resisting the urge to display my replica lightsaber above my door, and passing by the season box set of Stargate SG-1 at Best Buy, I cannot overcome this weakness.

There are days when I'll crack open my old copy of Rogue Squadron, just to fly the Millennium Falcon around. I almost never miss Battlestar Galactica.

However, I find it harder to get my fix as of late. I decided to expand my horizions and see what else there was. I've began watching Star Trek (occassionally and with only passing interest) and reading a a new genre of books, the "Space Opera."

Today, however, I took a bit of a different route.

It was raining, and I was cooped in my room for most of the day, so I decided to turn on the Sci-Fi channel. "It's a whole channel and all I watch is two shows, maybe three. There has to be more." I thought to myself.

I left it on all day, but I finally couldn't stand it any longer. Either my love of science fiction is fading, or the channel devoted to it is a complete and utter failure.

The first showing of Ghost Hunters had me mildly interested. By the third, I was mildly interested in canceling my cable subscription. Every episode is the same. Ghost problem, some night vision, some shaky camera work and dramatic music, then ten minutes of discussion about how you don't know what to think. Great. Awesome.

But there aren't enough badly produced ghost huntingesque shows, so you introduced me to "Scary...But True"

High school aged children running around old jails and screaming is not scary.

Voiceovers by a seven year old are not scary

Graphics made in MS Paint are not scary

The fact that you, Sci-Fi Channel, thought that all of that was a good idea, is terribly frightening.

The afternoon movie, while not quite Spielberg, was acceptable for a channel produced flick.

Stargate, was of course, excellent.

Then came the "New Sci-Fi Original Series: The Sarah Jane Adventures." Folks. I am going to stop here for a moment and put this very very plainly. Doctor Who has become a show that is shaky as a standalone in itself. It has potential, but it rides the line between annoying and fun. The Sars Jane Adventures, which for the uninitiated, is a spinoff from Dr. Who, is absolutely abhorrent.

I have almost never viewed a more annoying show as this. So far in the inaugural two episodes, the biggest challenge the main characters have had was keeping an old necklace away from a group of nuns. Yes. Nuns.

These are not nuns with superpowers or alien nuns or ninja nuns or nuns with guns. The only thing sinister that they have done so far, was cart their head nun (who looks to be arthritic, in need of a bath and partially paraplegic) over to some chick's house and turn her dad to stone. Now there's a powerful weapon. Grandma can turn people into rocks, if you can get here there without breaking her pelvis.

Not only are their greatest adversaries nuns, but they are LOSING to them. For two full episodes, they have been fighting nuns and losing. To make a long and boring story short, the nuns got the necklace. After twenty minutes of crying and talking, the main characters decide to get it back. A brilliant idea. So, after another twenty minutes of nun dodgeing and creeping about, they get the thing and make a mad dash toward the gates.

But wait, what's there to stop them at the gate. A couple of middle aged nuns. Apparently, this is too much for the interstellar explorer and two teenaged boys to handle, so they turn around to escape. Oh no! More nuns! What is their secret plan to keep the theives from running away? Dart guns? A net? No, not these crafty nuns. They form a circle around the main characters.

That's it. They stand in a circle around two teenaged boys and someone who has apparently battled some of the greatest evil in the universe to keep them from getting away.

And it works. The next scene is them in a basement dungeon and it was the scene in which I turned off the television.

I can deal with a certain amount of poitical correctness in television, but this is ridiculous.

Let's apply this logic to another televison show. How about 24, with Keifer Sutherland.

Terrorist: "There's someone outside. Quick, out the back door."

Sutherland: " Don't bother trying to escape. I drew a box around the whole building."

Terrorist: "Damn. We're trapped"

I would continue, but anyone who has seen the sad state of network science fiction lately knows the woes of out beloved genre.

Please Sci-Fi channel. This is a plea from those of us who need their fix an for whom one day a week of BSG and SG-1 may not be enough. Find a producer who isn't affiliated with the BBC and get cranking on some new shows. I don't care if is isn't politically correct or if you feel the 10-15 year old demographic is underrepresented. Clean off the crap and start over. Your shows suck.

...and it's only Tuesday

2008-01-22T22:43:00.000-05:00

What an interesting day this has been. Far beyond my own sad excuse of a life, great things have been afoot. While I spent my day ignoring the clamoring of my ever more insistent pile of unfinished work, I did manage to catch most of the "oh shit's" that were flying about today. Heath Ledger, who put the cock in cocktail (and in a few other things), bites it and possibly screws every Batman fan ever. Fred Thompson drops out of the presidential race, with the limping Huckabee campaign seemingly not far behind (unless they plan to run solely on THE POWER OF JESUS MONEY). Speaking of Jesus, only hours after the internet hacking group "anonymous" declared war on the Church of Scientology, they respond by PUTTING A FUCKING HIT OUT ON THEM. Well...not so much a hit, but there's five G's out for info on the group. ...and it's scientology, the organization that still has unofficial rules about taking someone out who opens their mouth too wide. Luckily, Tom Cruise is in charge and will probably explain his strategy to fight back by banging two sticks together and alternately yelling " YOU SEE THAT? HUH? YOU SEE THAT?" and laughing maniacally at a porcelain kitten Oh, and by the way, the government still trying (unsuccessfully) to offset what may turn into an economic free fall if things don't change.

I suppose in light of all of this, there is really only one thing to say.

W
T
F

More tomorrow, unless time space collapses from sheer irritation

One bit of hope:

The AIM Journals: A Shockingly Improbable Relationship

2007-12-30T23:14:00.000-05:00

From the fingers of fellow blogger Ryan Iseppi, a story of passion, adventure and dreidles.

(10:32:59 PM) DoctorMoog42: so....have you heard the story of how blogspot helped me find love? it's a corker
(10:33:16 PM) echoaa23: no
(10:33:18 PM) echoaa23: what
(10:33:21 PM) echoaa23: pray tell
(10:33:33 PM) DoctorMoog42: alright, here comes a bigass chunk of text
(10:34:27 PM) DoctorMoog42: Once upon a time, there was a girl named Casey. It was a hazey summer day, and she was bored, so she decided to do what geeks and socially inept people do - create a blog! While creating her blog profile, she typed "all of it" in her music section
(10:34:51 PM) echoaa23: okay
(10:34:59 PM) DoctorMoog42: Being curious and bored, she clicked on it to see who else put the same thing. To her surprise, she saw that a 17-year-old listed as living in Brighton had put the same thing
(10:35:35 PM) echoaa23: the plot thickens
(10:35:47 PM) echoaa23: like gravy left on the table
(10:36:08 PM) DoctorMoog42: She clicked on his blog and read it, finding it hilarious and, oddly enough, enlightening. She texted the link to her best friend Corinne and told her to check it out. Well Corinne dismissed the text as some marijuana-inspired nonsense.
(10:36:21 PM) echoaa23: never good
(10:36:49 PM) echoaa23: as the spice girls so wisely said "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends"
(10:37:15 PM) DoctorMoog42: Until one day in October, Corinne was feeling rather bored. She started looking through her old texts and found the link. Braving her old-as-fuck piece-of-shit computer, she typed in the link and found the blog. She couldn't get over the clever wordplay and unusual subject matter that the blog offered.
(10:37:52 PM) DoctorMoog42: However, her favorite part was the cute picture of the guy who wrote it. She got his AIM screenname from his profile, and nervously sent him a message. She found him to be polite, charming, and funny.
(10:38:30 PM) echoaa23: like a romantic comedy starring bad actors
(10:38:45 PM) DoctorMoog42: Over the next month or so, Corinne and her new online friend (henceforth Hershel) corresponded via AIM, and found that they shared many interests and opinions. Both were impressed with the others' knowledge of various aspects of art and culture.
(10:39:24 PM) DoctorMoog42: One day, Corinne's crazy-ass mother said something to the effect of "Corinne, I'm going into Brighton on saturday to meet a friend. Would you like to come?"
(10:40:07 PM) DoctorMoog42: Corinne jumped at the opportunity, as Hershel had recently asked if she wanted to hang out sometime. She and Hershel set up a meeting at Barnes & Noble. She hoped that Hershel wasn't creepy and weird like most bloggers. Hershel hoped that Corinne wasn't ugly.
(10:40:56 PM) echoaa23: of course
(10:40:56 PM) DoctorMoog42 : Peace, my brothers
(10:41:18 PM) echoaa23: what could be more romantic than a windowed box full of books and coffee
(10:42:05 PM) DoctorMoog42: The fateful saturday came, and the two youngn's met at the bookstore. Hershel turned out to be a little bit strange, but in a charming way. He drove Corinne to the mall and wanted to sit on Santa's lap. Because she suspected that she was dealing with a retard, she obliged. However, he WAS awfully good-looking and well-dressed for a retard!
(10:42:47 PM) DoctorMoog42: After a day of awkward fun, the two talked online some more. Both confessed crushes on the other, and they arranged for Hershel to come to Corinne's hometown of Linden that tuesday.
(10:43:26 PM) echoaa23: fantastic
(10:43:37 PM) DoctorMoog42: Hershel drove to Linden straight from school and met Corinne once more, as well as Casey, the girl who started the entire affair. Time was not wasted, without a couple of hours, Hershel and Corinne were making out in a church parking lot. Hershel, being retarded and Jewish, did not mind.
(10:44:03 PM) echoaa23: haHA
(10:44:16 PM) echoaa23: Brilliant!
(10:44:38 PM) DoctorMoog42: After that, Hershel made his move and asked Corinne to date him. She blushed and said yes. Hershel drove home happy, his silly Jew sideburns positively quivering with delight.
(10:45:18 PM) DoctorMoog42: The next day, Hershel was killed in a freak dreidel accident, and Corinne started dating some fucker named Ryan.
(10:45:23 PM) DoctorMoog42: The rest, as they say, is history.

You are probably in someone's crosshairs RIGHT NOW

2007-12-11T19:26:00.001-05:00

This recent comic on XKCD reminded me of a conversation that I had with the eminent Ryan Iseppi (of Kitch Pop Deconstructionism) several years ago. We were walking up a hill in Georgia, in search of something to do, when I happened to mention that if we were to be attacked by an army, that the top of the hill would be a fantastic place to stage a counterattack. He gave me a rather odd look, than agreed that he too had been thinking much the same thing. I was delighted that there was someone else at least as insane as I and we launched into a rather scintillating discussion on that topic.

Several years hence, I still find myself calculating if my backpack would actually work as a shield, in the event that a sniper tries to pick me off. Would I, in fact, be able to successfully battle a sword wielding ninja with a belt? I find my mind wandering in these directions constantly, which is troubling enough in itself. However, it makes me wonder, does everyone do this? Am I alone, a raving lunatic in the midst of a sane society (a very real possibility) or are there others secretly harboring a desire to match wits with a samurai in the middle of a crowded mall? Don't fool yourselves folks; I haven't met a red blooded male that can tell me they wouldn't want to be Neo during the lobby scene in The Matrix. Granted, Neo's sexual payoff was from a sort of manly looking, combat boot sporting, frighteningly greasy woman, but hey. Sex is sex, even if it is done in a boiler room/apartment amid the shattered remains of your doomed society. But I digress. The point is... Well, there really isn't a point. Either you will tell me I'm fucking nuts and believe it, or you'll tell me I'm fucking nuts and know deep down that I'm right.

Norris vs. Lee. That's all you need to know.

2007-10-25T08:27:00.000-05:00

The faceoff of the titans. Neither of them could win, so they used the principles of quantum mechanics to repeat the fight in every dimension and every point in the universe simultaneously. Since we can only perceive three dimensions, we mistakenly see Bruce Lee appear to win, but in fact, that fight is still going on. Bruce Lee faked his death to ascend into Super Saiyan form, while Chuck Norris is so fast that he can appear in other things (Walker, Texas Ranger) while he is fighting.

Turn the sound off while watching the video...it makes it so much more surreal...

TorrentFreak gets it right...

2007-10-21T22:50:00.000-05:00

Today, on my regular reddit browsing session, I discovered an article by our friends over at TorrentFreak. In a burst of genius by their (genii?), they took a chance and interviewed a nine year old, getting the ever-so-refreshing viewpoint of a child on P2P filesharing. I'll spare you details here, read below or jump over to their site and check out the original.

*******The following came from TorrentFreak. Take a gander at their site for the latest on Bittorent and filesharing news.*******

____________________________________________________________________________________

Everyone knows that a significant number of file-sharers are teenagers and young adults and they get their share of press. But what about the true kids - the under 10’s ? TorrentFreak makes itself feel old trying to keep up with the agile mind of a 9 year old file-sharer.

Like most publications, here at TorrentFreak we regularly interview adults. However, when a recent conversation with a child turned to file-sharing, we took the opportunity to give the P2P kids a voice. We had a little chat with a 9 year old girl who wants to be called “Hannah” (after Hannah Montana) and she talks to us about LimeWire, BEBO, YouTube and her perception of the rights and wrongs of copying - even her frustrations with DRM.

“Never work with children or animals” said WC Fields. TorrentFreak takes a chance:

TF. Hi Hannah! How old are you?

- I’m 10 in 12 days

TF. What sort of music are you listening to right now?

Sean Kingstone, Shayne Ward and High School Musical 2

TF. Where did you first get into music?

- On the music channels, on MTV.

TF. When did you get a PC?

- People had computers but I couldn’t go on them but my Dad bought me one last year. I have internet.

TF. What do you do on the internet?

- MSN, talking to friends and cousins, games and dressing-up games [dolls]

TF. When did you first start using the internet to get music?

- My cousin showed me YouTube and then LimeWire and I was like “whoa cool!”

TF. What was cool about it?

- Because you can put anything in and it will come up and you don’t actually pay for it. Well you have to pay for the internet and LimeWire comes with the internet but you have to pay for that so LimeWire isn’t really free.

TF. Ok…I see….Do you get music from anywhere else?

- My cousin gets it from BEBO. She copies it from other people’s pages and puts it on her own.

TF. Do you think it’s ok to copy the music?

- Yes it’s ok because she only does it to make her page better.

TF. So you’re sure that it’s ok to copy it? What do you think about copying?

- I suppose it’s not ok to copy but people copied it off her site so she just copies theirs. It’s like, you’re copying my t-shirt so i’m copying you on shoes.

TF. Ok, so a bit like copying school work?….Hmm….ok, let’s talk about copying on the computer again. When you started using LimeWire, did anyone ever mention that if you did certain things you might be breaking some laws?

- Why would they put it [music] on the internet and invent mp3 players if it was against the law?

TF. Confusing isn’t it?….You mentioned you like Sean Kingstone - what if I told you that Sean Kingstone’s boss might send you a letter asking for money because you shared his album on LimeWire? What would you say to him?

- W.E! [whatever!]

TF. Come on, play along with me. What would you say if he did?

- I’d say “tooooo strict!” and anyway he can’t make me do anything. He’s not the boss of me, he’s the boss of Sean Kingstone.

TF. What do you think might happen if you didn’t pay him?

- Nothing. I’m too young to be charged by the government so he can’t charge me.

TF. Would you carry on using LimeWire after he sent the letter?

- Yeah!

TF. Why?

- Because you can get good albums off there. Duh!! My CD’s don’t work in my mp3 player so LimeWire is the only way to do it. I bought High School Musical 2 on CD but it won’t go on my mp3 [player]

TF. How would you make LimeWire better?

- To speak to the person sending the music to make sure they send the right one, sometimes they send stuff that doesn’t even play.

TF. Do you know what a pirate is?

- They have parrots [effects ‘arrrrr’]

TF. Do you think its legal or illegal to copy a CD or DVD?

- Some men right, they sell you a DVD at the market but when you get home it doesn’t play, that’s illegal.

TF. Why is it illegal?

- Duh!! Because they tell you it works and when you get it home it’s rubbish and jumps in the middle and its a waste of money!

TF. Do you think you should be paying for stuff off LimeWire? You have to buy CD’s from the shop…

- You have to pay for CD’s because they’re actually on a disc not on the computer. My cousin, right, she uses LimeWire when she doesn’t have any money for CDs.

TF. Did you ever download anything by anybody and then go to see them?

- I got stuff by Lee Ryan and Simon Webbe and then I went to see Blue. Why don’t you ask me what my favorite hobby is?

TF. Ok, what’s your favorite hobby?

- Dancing to music, it’s fun!!

Thankyou, Hannah. That’s it! Have a nice birthday!

**TorrentFreak**

On Chance...

2007-10-17T15:31:00.000-05:00

Luck is just one of those things that happens. It is said that luck can be influenced by various items, ranging from small mammillian appendages to mutated plants, but I find these to be rather contradictory to its definition. Luck, in essence, is defined as a force that acts completely free of the influence of these things, making this whole mess all the more ironic. You see, luck doesn't discriminate. This is the reason that filthy rich people hit jackpots in casinos while I watch as my bank account is drained by a teenager on a computer in the Ukraine. However, Luck almost defies a proper definition. Is it pure chance or the work of some bored deity? Does it affect just humans, or is a rock lucky to have sat in the same spot for the last thirty thousand years? What do we really know about this supposed phenomenon?

I can't help but wonder what life would be like without luck. Everything would happen just as it should, no deviation, no surprises of fortune or misfortune. Tomorrow morning, when as you walk to your car, you won't trip over that curb and impale your face on the corner of the parking meter, nor will a winning lottery ticket fly out of the air and stick to your blood soaked sweater as you stumble across the lot in search of your left eyeball. Life would surely be dull without luck.

This phenomenon has its roots in every civilization in recorded history (and probably before that too). Biblical text mentions variant ideas that center around our modern definitions, "I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all."(Ecclesiastes 9:11 NIV) It appears to be as ancient as our realization of self and yet it has always existed in the background of consciousness, as something we take for granted. This may be because we can usually see the chain of events that led to a certain outcome. Your plane crashes on takeoff, prompting you to say to yourself, "This is certainly bad luck" as you run screaming from the wreckage. If you find out later, however, that it was because a mechanic stuck his Whopper over an air intake, then it devolves into pure stupidity. Many of these instances that we attribute to luck actually turn out to be logically traceable. So, then, the question remains, what is luck if it isn't logic?

After some careful research (i.e. I typed "luck" into Google)I have concluded that luck is as undefinable now as it was two thousand years ago. There is no conclusive evidence for either side, as there are no real studies that have been done to determine its nature. There are psychological theories that state that it is linked to a sort of self fulfilling prophesy, while the more concrete sciences try to explain it in terms of quantum probability (these theories are really quite interesting in themselves, though they can get a bit heavy on the math). The philosophers will tell you to find a true definition of luck, while the english people will no doubt give you one. All in all, we have a fairly comprehensive view of this phenomenon, we are now just lacking some sort of unification. If you have any ideas or clever thoughts toward this, let me know. For further reading on the matter, I have included some links below:

Psych/Philosophy of Luck
Interpretations of Probability
What's Luck Got to Do With It?

Special thanks to Bits and Pieces for the photo

Test

2007-10-15T20:10:00.000-05:00

In a break from the writing mayhem (or may-hell) I decided to do a little experiment with blog posting on Facebook.The notes page is too clunky for my use, and I already have an established blog on Blogger. In order to test this shiny new toy, I have to post something for the RSS to grab. So. Here is is.

-E

I write because I am tired of writng

2007-10-15T17:06:00.000-05:00

I eat, sleep, and drink writing. My life is writing, be it by computer or pen. In fact, I have so much writing to do, I refuse to do it. I procrastinate until I can't put it off any longer, then I procrastinate a bit more.

Friends, I'll be at this all night.

If you need the assistance of a stark raving mad quasi author, I'll be near a computer for the next 24 hours.

-E

*Thanks to XKCD for the comic genius*

I'm Trying to Be Back

2007-09-10T23:17:00.000-05:00

"And so, in the Book of Blog it was written that he who hath the internets be blessed with immeasurable audience and ungraded attempts at writing"

It is a cool evening here in Allendale amd I have the Air on. No, this is not a punctuation faux pau, I am simply referring to that wonderful French electronica band whom I have recently discovered with the help of Ryan Iseppi and Chris Remiajn (of the Kitch Pop Deconstructionism and Pulse Melodies blogs, respectively). If you have ever been inclined to do something expensive while wearing clothes far too stylish for yourself, Air is for you. Moon Safari and Pocket Symphony are both excellent picks, though there are other albums out there.

Scientologists beware, this guy's got Theta

2007-07-05T09:24:00.000-05:00

In the spirit of my unmitigated disgust for anything Scientology, I have a piece from a fellow blogger Tony Xiao that illustrates another point of view on this crackpot hoax that crazy Cruise and his legions have so irritatingly pushed upon us.

Credit: Go For It http://goforit.comicgen.com/rants/scientology.html

Hey there, fellow internet survivalists! Ever wondered what’s the craziest, least sensible group of people on the planet? No, it’s not Islamic fundamentalists. No, not turbo-militant creationists. No, not the evil crazy cat ladies either. It’s followers of a ‘religion’ called Scientology. Though I use the term religion very loosely, like how worshipping a dried pear that looks like Ronald Reagan is a ‘religion’.

Lead us, Linda!

Okay, now that I’ve made myself a target for assassination attempts, you’re gonna ask... why’s this? Those Scientologists are just nice guys with a really lame rip-off crucifix as their logo. Yeah, that’s right. They have a cross, but it also has a sharp, hazardous ‘X’ going through the center. Way to go originality. Well, first… to explain things, their Religion was started in the 1950’s by… get this: it was started by a goddamned science-fiction paperback writer. L. Ron Hubbard was his name, and the ‘L’ stands for Linda. To be fair, if I had a first name like fucking Linda, I’d want to start some kinda evil cult too.

Anyway, so this religion tests people with cheesy magazine back ‘yes/no’ questionnaires that only the reincarnation of Jesus-Gandhi-ChefBoyardee could pass. When you invariably fail, they offer free ‘help’ courses… such as being told that you suck repeatedly while having cold water thrown in your face until you agree to pay their rather ‘competitively’ priced counseling fees, so you can learn all of the secrets of the universe. Not a bad deal, huh?

Secrets… well… Here we go. I’m going to try and explain… but what they think makes the plot of DUNE look crystal-clear by comparison, without the hallucinogenic spice. So like… this is what pastor Hubbard says: Precisely 75 million years ago, a tyrannical galactic alien emperor named Xenu controlled the whole galaxy, including our blue planet Earth, which was called Teegeeak back in those days. Overpopulation was really messing up his empire though, since 180 billion people lived on each of his hundred planets.
Mental health and volcanos. Nice dichotomy there, Linda.
To solve this problem, Emperor Xenu used his elite psychiatrist legions to trick people into being injected with knock-out chemicals, and put them into futuristic spaceships that look exactly like airliners, but with hyper-techno-advanced rocket engines instead of jet turbines. He flew them all to the Planet Teegeeak… I mean… Earth, where they all were stuffed into volcanoes, and blown up by multiple nuclear bombs for some reason. Wow. This sounds like a perfect solution to America’s homeless problems. Oh, and then Xenu decided it was such a waste to nuke mountainfuls of people, so he collected all of their souls into little boxes, like the way the Ghostbusters catch ghosts, to prevent their souls from reincarnating into humans to overthrow his rule. The souls have to watch shitty movies inside these soul-catcher boxes for all eternity, much like the awesome television show, Mystery Science Theater 3000, where two robots and a custodian watch movies and mock them in space.

So anyway, the Evil Overlord Xenu was overthrown by his own government, and locked up in a volcano, where he’s trapped by an eternally-powered forcefield and is still living today. Uh huh. Those souls (called ‘Thetans’) then escaped the theaters and are possessing humans, causing them to feel bad, have shitty lives, and not ever get laid. So basically, blaming your problems on ‘Thetans’ and not ‘Your own fucking ineptitude’ is what this story promotes. Well, that’s about it. Damn accurate depiction of the ancient universe, I say. Only one catch. They tell you this stuff after you’ve already spent about $50,000 dollars on ‘treatment sessions’, which only serve to show how much of a goddamn idiot you are, and why you should never, ever be allowed to breed.

This religion is fucking sad, I’ll tell you that. They’re the ‘Church of Scientology’ officially, but… I got to wondering. What the fuck is the word Scientology? I can tell you what it’s not though, and that’s Science. No, they instead have Scient™, the low-carb, low-fat, fact-free version of science, promoted by Linda Ron Hubbard, author of such masterpieces of literature as ‘Battlefield Earth’, the story of how the Earth gets taken over by aliens who look like white guys with green eyes and dreadlocks.
When you're at the bottom you really can't go anywhere else but up.

So back to the topic, Scient™ology is based on the exorcising of those darned Thetans from your body, as they cause all kinds of things. They’re why you get sick after gorging your fat dumb ass on six cans of beef stew. They’re why your armpits repulse woodland animals after you fail to bathe in a month. They’re why you can’t get a date to save your life, even after showing that (un)lucky someone your collection of batman figurines you’ve collected for the last 28 years of your life.

To do so, you use a special set of techniques that Linda Ron Hubbard has himself perfected. One of which is called ‘Dianetics’, which quote:

“...this new science of the mind or this new philosophy had a significance for mankind that was greater than the discovery of the wheel and equal in significance to the discovery of fire."

Oh modesty, your name is Linda. Yeah, well, Dianetics involves apparently the ritual of throwing money at Scientology, while they tell you how much you suck, and how it’s okay to suck, because giving them money lets them help you suck less. Measure the suckitude, they have special hyper-technological doohickies designed by Linda Ron Hubbard himself called E-Meters, that measure your levels of gullibility. No, it’s true. It’s claimed they measure ‘Theatan Possession Quotient’, but that’s really window dressing for pure gullibility, with a side of godawful stupidity. I myself have had the ‘fortune’ of being offered a free E-Meter testing to show how possessed I am once. This pair of Scient™ologists cornered me in a park and asked if I wanted all my problems to be solved, forever and ever and ever. So to show me how massively fucked up I am, they told me to squeeze a little box attatched by wires to a multimeter, a device used by nerds to make radio kits by measuring if electricity gets from point A to point B.
Travolta's money being put to good use.
So I got ‘tested’, and found out one astounding fact. How possessed I am is directly related to how hard I was squeezing the box. Real scient™-ific device you have there, fellow inhabitants of Teegeeak. Personally, I’m an indifferent atheist, and laughed in their faces, when they began to comment about how my thetan levels were off the charts. Duh, all demonically possessed people can grip a fucking cube.

Know what’s the saddest fact of all? About 50,000 people actually believe in this stuff, and are waiting for Linda ‘Super Jesus’ Ron Hubbard’s return to save them from the legions of Thetan posssessed people with surprisingly strong grips. Honestly though, this isn’t entirely funny stuff. People have DIED to these guys, like a woman named Lisa McPherson, a member who was locked in a closet for seventeen days. I say, that’s a pretty shitty way to go. ‘Yeah sure, Sign me up for this cult that shoves people in closets without food or water for three weeks, after I’ve paid them my life savings. Great deal! But now at least I have Xenu-Repelling Decoder Rings!’

Anyway, what can you do to protect our beloved planet Teegeeak from the forces of Scient™ology? Simple. If you see a scientologist, who says anything about ‘E-Meters’, ‘Operating Thetan Levels’ or ‘Xenu’, you hit them square across the face with the hardest, bluntest object available, and tell them that the reason they’re such useless fucks, is because they’re useless fucks. That’s when you give the poor saps a quarter as a start to replace the $80,000 dollars they’ve wasted on Thetan-B-Gone Spray, Gold Plated Deluxe E-Meters, and Linda Ron Hubbard water-transfer decal sheets.

So well, I’m probably gonna get massively sued. But hey, like I care. I’ll just mention Beloved Leader’s effeminate first name, and hope that’ll cause heads to explode in clouds of blood, bone and liquefied stupidity. Anyway, this rant is getting quite long, and I’ve got to head back to the frontline in the fight against the forces of dumbassery. Until next ranting, denizens of the internet(s)!

-Tony Xiao

What has happened..

2007-06-13T20:58:00.000-05:00

Apologies all for my absence from the blogs... I will be returning as soon as I return to a civilized existence.

Even though I have given the issue my most direct attention, my current living situation does not permit me access to the internet on a convenient or efficient basis. I have therefore thrown off all but the most binding ties (intermittent e-mail checks and the digg/reddit update every once in a while) in an attempt to ease my informationally deprived anguish. Soon, though, I will be connected again and able to enjoy the full benefits of living in the twenty-first century. AT&T, if you are listening, here's a big old blow me for your treatment of rural internet. Dish can have some too, as they offer it, but at exorbiant rates and high latency. Such is the current situation.

Fun College Tips

2007-04-16T23:49:00.001-05:00

I believe that I am going to start a new, recurring column called "Fun College Tips." It will be a helpful guide for all the stuff that they probably won't teach you in class. Everything from where to get the best alcohol to the procedures for approaching that corner of the bathroom you haven't cleaned since you arrived will be included. I haven't decided on the frequency yet, they will more than likely be whenever I discover something new or decide to post my existing experiences. Enjoy.

For our first installment, we will cover a basic college skill: Preparing Ramen noodles. A cliche, you cry; this has been done before! Trust me, whatever you learned from mom with her fancy pots and stoves and metal utensils may as well be tossed out. You will have no such luxuries as these. You live on the edge of culinary culture, the only tools you may have are a plastic fork, small bowl and microwave. You have to be prepared for this situation because at midnight, when you are desperate for a snack and the granola from mom just doesn't look good, you will need these skills. Now, gather your tools and go over to the combo kitchen/bathroom sink and balance everything on that little part between the edge and the sinkbowl. This is done for two reasons. First, this area gets the highest traffic and therefore gets water occasionally splashed on it, making it cleaner than the rest of the surface. Second, if things begin to go badly, you can abort to the sink quickly with minimal burning mess.

Open the packet of Ramen by cutting a slit across the top. All packages have those broken off noodle pieces floating in the bottom, tearing causes them to fly across the room like shrapnel. Take the ramenbrick and flavor out and set it on top of the packaging. Now, take the bowl and fill it with water, place in the microwave for a few minutes. When bubbles have began to form, stop the microwave. This is the first difficult part. Getting the bowl to the sink requires concentration, skill, and socks. This can be done several ways, but the easiest is to pull socks over your hands like oven mitts and carry the bowl over. Don't spill any water, the socks will wick the boiling liquid right to your hand and boil your flesh off. Once you get the bowl back to the sink, take the ramenbrick and analyze it. How to get it all in? The geometry of round bowls isn't compatible with the stamped noodle that you hold, so the only way is to break it. You may wish to grasp the two flat parts and twist like you are opening an oreo in order to make the resulting breaks smaller still. However, some will still inevitable stick up above the water, but don't worry. Ramenbrick is like a big dollar sponge. It soaks up water better than bounty.

Return to the microwave and cook until the noodles are soft. After you have gotten the cooked bowl of brick back to the sink, stand back and admire your handiwork, for the next step may well destroy your hard earned meal.

In order for Ramen to be of any use, you must drain it. Yes. Drain the Ramen. Contrary to popular belief, it is not a soup. It is a pasta meal amn should be treated as such. Here is where things get tense. Wrap a shirt around the bottom of the bowl and use it to slowly tip the bowl into the sink. It will appear that you are using the shirt as a filter for the water, as it doesn't pour far enough away. This is fine. Everyone makes sacrifices for food and a shirt is a small price to pay indeed. After draining, add the flavor and stir in. The last step in this process is by far the most ingenious. I am sure that by now you have managed to get the socks wet, if they weren't already soaked from the day's activities and using them again would be miserable. Unless you want to stand and eat, you must again transport your bowl of tasty noodles. Turn your faucet as cold as it can go and insert your hands into the flow. Hold them there for several minutes until you have lost feeling. Then, quickly grab the bowl with your bare hands and walk to your desk. By the time your hands have warmed enough to grab the fork, your meal will have cooled enough to eat. Enjoy.

Image from our heroes at the Official Ramen Homepage

Save Net Radio

2007-04-16T16:30:00.000-05:00

In short: The copyright bastards are trying to kill something cool (Internet Radio). Why does it suck? Because it will destroy the industry and hurt independent artists and studios. Why do I care? Because fighting the MAN is what we do.

Scroll to the bottom to help out (it's quick, I promise)

And for the more technical...

In yet another hit on the free distribution on information that we all love and cherish, the Copyright Royalty Board in Washington has decided to raise rates drastically on all internet radio broadcasts that have anything to do with music. Pandora, Live 365, etc, will all go under if the legislation goes into effect. Like a big switch, all of that free internet radio goes poof, along with the thousands of DJ's and even podcasters that operate on these free sites. With the new ruling, you theoretically could keep a personal channel open...for five hundred dollars a pop. Now, you say, everyone has to pay for the songs that they play, it's royalty radio. This is true and in fact, the internet companies do pay a small fee for each song played. The problem is, this increase puts their fee above that of broadcast radio (which pays nothing per song) and even above satellite radio. This increase in crippling to broadcasters and the only way to make a difference is through a grassroots movement like the one that is currently underway. So, I urge you to help out. Even if you don't listen to internet radio, it is the principle that the government can simply kill an industry at will that is important. It doesn't cost money, just a bit of time and a letter to your congressman/woman. I have provided several websites to aid in this process, so if you have a few minutes, please help out.

More Detailed Information is available HERE

Sign the Petition

Save Net Radio Website Homepage

Fooku Veen

2007-04-08T23:11:00.000-05:00

Exams are coming and my creativity is busy warring with an anthropology term paper.

This excerpt was taken from a conversation between several friends of mine. The protagonists in this situation are currently in the Bahamas. The antagonist is not, but would presumably have been deported already if he was. Many thanks to Rick Mandel and the pale skin of Chris Remijan.

Gail and I spent the day in the sun. We are both a little burned. Things one must do for their Art. Chris has not been in the sun at all. he said he doesn't want to wrinkle.
He spends the day in the room on the internet. What a wast of money I could have left him home and save on the air and dogs. Gail and I would have more to spend on our selves.

* * * * * * * *

Let me be the first to tell you today, your son is an idiot! Not a normal run-of-the-mill idiot, but an idiot of special renown. In fact, I spoke to the council of idiotic behavior after I read your note. They've decided to open up a special wing in the museum to honor the utter and complete lunacy of your neer-do-well son. To be in the Bahamas and NOT get out in the sun? Sorta like going to a brothel and playing scrabble with the other johns. Idiot.
He's worried about wrinkles? Give me a break! I haven't figured out the best way to tell him he already does have wrinkles...His ass is puckered so tight it's sucking him into himself, you know, much like a 6 foot sphincter, only without the useful qualities. If his ass was puckered any tighter, he would have to use the pool for an enema, and it still wouldn't fill the cavity he's created for himself. Wrinkles? My aching ass. Great, he'll have perfect skin...it will do so well for him as he sits his life in front on a pc typing to his cyber dates with one hand. Of course it could be argued that a tan clashes with the pallor of death one gets from the glow from sitting too close to a computer monitor. Beside, what a great thing to tell the girls..."See this lack of a tan? I got this from going to the Bahama's and never leaving my laptop. Yep, the babes will be swooning. I can see it now, Every guy wants to be like him, every woman wants to be with him...Give me peace! My most viscous, White Castle induced stools know more about vacationing than he does.
But that's just me...I believe in living life, not sitting in a hotel room reading about what's right outside my room. (and yes, I do see the irony in that statement)

Thinking about it a couple of seconds, I would maintain if he can't tear himself away from his laptop, he has no need to have cocktails while he's down there. It's a vacation after all. Since he's not clear on the concept, I'd treat him the same way I would if he was home....no cocktails....let the little bastard get himself cyber-inebriated.

* * * * * * *

Web Comics

2007-03-30T13:20:00.000-05:00

As I did my daily web news check this morning, I uncovered one of those rare internet gems that I do love so much. I would highly recommend this site to relieve that 4 in the afternoon desire to end humanity. Because we need other humans. For exploitation... Just read the damn comic.

Oh Apple, you sleek demon.

2007-03-29T23:17:00.000-05:00

I had the privilege of attending a small Mac conference at GV last night and I was not surprised to find that my sneaking suspicion that they are easier to use than a windows machine was completely reinforced. Installing a program is easier, using applications is easier and the built in tools that come with each one are better. However, as much as I was enjoying myself learning about this novel operating system, I began to feel somewhat uncomfortable. Something was very wrong and I couldn't put my finger on it.

The presenters took the computers through a various battery of functions for the conference, showing off features and various other tricks. It took me a few minutes, but I suddenly realized why I felt so disconcerted. Throughout at least four separate computer switches, various program installs, and deep level computer settings changes, nothing had gone wrong. Now, each time a new computer went up onto the podium, I waited, each time with growing trepidation as I anticipated a failure. A system lockup, memory dump, incompatibility with the projector, even a required restart. NOTHING. By the middle of the program I was beginning to have fits of paranoia. Something HAD to go wrong. But, no matter how long I waited, how hard I prayed, nothing even gave the slightest hint of an error. The conference came to a close and I unsteadily got to my feet. As I walked out, I peered suspiciously around for signs of medicine men, practitioners of voodoo, Catholics. Nothing. These machines were seemingly infallible. Heartbroken, I returned to my dorm and spent the night sobbing, wrapped around my windows laptop with the faulty screen, testy audio drivers and twenty minute battery life. I feel the need to apologize in advance, because I will be cheating on her soon.

By the way, thanks to ace2heart and worth 1000 for this shot...full version can be found here

Spring?

2007-03-27T12:18:00.001-05:00

It has been a while, I know. There has been quite a bit in the works lately, along with the fact that I have developed a sort of addiction to House. But I am getting back on track with real life and therefore, you should start seeing some more fun spewings of my brain matter. A few friends and I are toying with the idea of starting an informal podcast, I may do it even if they don't. Expect further developments on that soonish.

2007-02-06T23:11:00.001-05:00

Holy sweet music

2007-01-18T18:03:00.000-05:00

Check this one out....The audiophile's dream. You digg addicts will have already seen it, but it is too godly not to post.

Full Story
Photos

...and yet again, our citizens prove themselves among the stupidest in the entire world...

2007-01-17T22:10:00.001-05:00

I post this out of sheer and total disgust. I know that people are stupid and I have learned to hate ignorance, but this has driven me over the edge. I am not a fan of rant blogs, so I will keep this to a minimum. The point that I want to make is simply that, with all of the resources available to the average person in the US, there is no excuse for this level of incompetence. The argument could be made that there are other, less informed people in the world. This isn't the issue. The majority of those who are less informed are a part of the third world population whose main concern isn't whether they know where France is on the map, but whether they have drinking water or not. Unlike us, they wouldn't have access to free libraries, free schools, free internet, and free will to spend the day watching the afternoon soaps and cramming their face full of processed shit. This is ridiculous and maddening. Wake the fuck up, America.

More Scientology

2007-01-15T22:10:00.000-05:00

As I was searching through the reams of diggformation tonight on my last sweep before retiring for bed, one story caught my eye. On the front page of the news was the headline:

Germany authorities say hell no to Scientology. That-a-boy Germany!

Now. Grammer notwithstanding, this seemed to be good news. The Germans are being very cautious about this whole Scientology thing and rightfully so. (If you are unfamiliar with my personal vendetta against Scientology, go back to the second or so story on my blog and see my reasoning.) Finally, someone has taken a reasoned look at the "Church" and it's practices and has decided, as I have, that it has no right to be recognized as a religion. Reading the article reveals that this is not an isolated incident. Criticism of the Church comes from everywhere, even from within,

"Scientology has become a very totalitarian, fascist system in the meantime, whose only purpose is to make money. If you look at the so-called philosophy of scientology, particularly the higher levels, then you see that it is absolute nonsense," said the former director of Scientology in Austria, Wilfried Handl in Berlin the day before the new church opened.

"Only the people who follow it have to pay huge sums of money for it."

Even the Interior Minister of the State Erhart Koerting is critical of the organization,

"I think Scientology is an organization which actively approaches psychologically weaker people, makes them dependent on them and financially exploits them by promising some kind of cure or a that they will become a better person, and so I do regard this organization critically."

Further research revealed this, from online business magazine Playfuls.com

"Scientology's decision to locate in the capital has drawn a mixed reaction from official quarters in Berlin.

The nation's domestic intelligence agency - the Office for the Protection of the Constitution, warned in its most recent annual report that there was "substantial evidence that Scientology is involved in activities against the free democratic order."

This seems pretty harsh, coming from the intelligence community of one of the world's most powerful nations, but it makes a statement as to how seriously this is being taken by the people in charge overseas.

(Full Article) Scientology Gets Down to Business in Berlin

Apparently though, Scientologists have made headlines in more places than just Berlin. In London, the Church has been accused of donating money to both political Parties in hopes of gaining some clout in Parliament. The article that follows is fairly detailed in it's assessment and fairly gives both sides of the argument. A recommended read, though I won't paraphrase as it is too complex and would lose contextual meaning.

How the Church of Scientology found its way into British politics

I think that this is getting ready to become more than the crackpot religion of a few Hollywood stars. It seems to be making the news with increasing frequency these days, whether the public will swallow it whole or not may be the next question we face. I think it may be time for another in depth look at exactly what Scientology entails. Look for the post in a few days.

Random Fun

2007-01-11T18:15:00.000-05:00

Facebook is a fun place. I get a lot of creative content from there, and this is no exception. A note written by a friend of mine, Billy Hamway, and shared with me by another friend, Bobby Mock, had this in it.

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask:

"Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say:

"You're next."

This should clear up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both ultimately result in death.

I am fairly sure this isn't his original content, but I had to laugh.

The Benefit of Music

2007-01-10T21:39:00.000-05:00

I was watching Pulp Fiction today when I got the notion to write this one. All day, it seemed that I was hypersensitive to this kind of thing, perhaps it is Quentin Tarintino's image/music matching prowess that brought it on, but nevertheless, it struck me as rather interesting the more I payed attention to it.

Anyone who takes a serious interest in music can attest to the psychological power that it contains. Every genre has it's own set of associated moods, senses and perceptions attached; each of which is different for everyone. Some people find Jazz soothing to the mind, while others prefer Hip-Hop/Rap, R&B, Classical, Metal, or one of the thousands of types available. Out of all of the sensory media available in modern society, it is the most versatile, as we are sight oriented creatures. Music can be added as an overlay to almost any situation in a way that not only attenuates the mood, but can alter perception. Next time you watch tv or a movie, pay close attention to the music. During a commercial, the music only starts when the product is being pitched, those weight loss ads are a great example of this. The moment the bottle of lipitor or lipozene or assaway appears on the screen, there immediately follows a face paced techno beat to get you excited about the product. Similarly, in horror movies, creepy music always precedes something terrifying happening to someone. The technique is similar to cocking a gun, it is a preloading sequence designed to get the maximum bang for your buck. I recommend looking for it in everyday advertisement, or simply watching commercials on mute, things lose something without music.

New Stuff

2007-01-09T13:21:00.000-05:00

It's a new semester here at GV and that means the renewed joy of scrambling to find classes, waking up at strange and dark hours of the day to learn new things and ramping up to stumble through a whole new semesters worth of work. Christmas break has ended along with the bliss of free laundry/food/place to stay. I could have made a smooth transition back into the life of personal (if not financial) freedom if it hadn't been for the harrowing drive from mid Michigan to Grand Rapids. Within the first ten minutes of being on the highway, I was already threatening impalement by dull fork to some teenage bitch who decided that going 78 in the middle lane was unacceptable. Disregarding the fact that there were two other lanes on either side, she had evidently decided that the center lane was her private road and anyone in the way of her supercool 1995 Mercury Topaz was begging for a fiery death. As she wove around behind me like some pissed off turquoise beetle, alternately honking, flashing her lights and giving me the finger, I got to thinking. How much better would the world be if people like her had to wear collars when they drove, much like a dog's bark collar. When they started to drive like an idiot, everyone else who had a controller (those of us who don't drive like coked up whores) could shock them. If enough people hit the button, the driver would be rendered unconscious. Whatever happened from there would be in the hands of fate. As I pondered this, our princess finally decided to make her move and kicked all forty horses into gear as she whizzed past me. I sighed and let her go, ignoring the fact that it would have been so easy to remove her from the gene pool with a quick tug of the wheel. The idea stuck though and as I was watching this, it returned to me. Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all. Admittedly, it does have more logical holes than Mel Gibson's brain, but it's the concept that keeps me smiling every time yet another one is seen blowing lights and passing on the shoulder in her pop can like vehicle.

Exams

2006-12-05T22:23:00.000-05:00

College students everywhere shudder at the word, but it is upon us. Exam week. The living hell of midnight study sessions, coffee, piles of papers, and irate professors. The whole atmosphere of a university will change, with the attitudes of the students going further to each extreme than they have all year. It is at this time of the semester when people will be partying the hardest and studying the longest to prepare for that first exam at 8 am on Monday morning.

The point, however, is not only just to survive. You must perform at your peak. To assist with attaining both of these goals, I have compiled a list of things every college student should do during exam week.

1. Turn off your porn

Porn will only serve as a distraction. You can lust after Jenna Jameson and Adriana Lima after you are done with exams. One handed studying never works for anyone.

2. On drinking... Either stop altogether or don't stop until winter break starts.

Alcohol in moderate amounts is bad. Dropping the habit for the next week will allow you to focus on your notes and maybe even pass a few exams. If you start drinking however, DON'T STOP. By the time you realize how much of your parents money you have wasted on the last semester, it will be too late and at least you can accept that. Allowing even a moment of clarity in the midst of your failure will only cause undue suffering.

3. Remember that AIM is out to kill you

This is really more of a general statement about all online social networking. You are sitting at your computer, innocently reading boring notes about stoichiometry or algebra when suddenly, there it is. That little blinking bar at the bottom of your screen. hugsandkisses33 wants to talk and you know you can't resist. Try as you might, you can't ignore it. It just keeps incessantly blinking away, begging to be clicked on until you finally do. Suddenly, you find yourself blinking. You glance at the clock. and find that five hours have gone by. You now know the full life history of your cousin's neighbor, your myspace profile has been fully rewritten and you have 8 new friends on facebook who don't look familiar. This is the curse of social networking. Stay away during exams.

4. Youtube is just as bad

You know that watching thirty mashups of "huge crqash accidunts - WOW " and clips of family guy can eat hours. Stay away.

5. Sleep

You will need lots of this. Do it often. Do it for long periods of time. Do it with another person of different gender. The point is, sleep = happy.

6. Don't Panic

This is paramount. Just don;t panic. If you need advice on how to not panic, see the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. The book, not the miserable excuse for the movie.

Good luck. If you have any other suggestions, feel free to add them into the comments.

**Final Note - I have also been recommended to CNS (Central Nervous System) stimulants by a friend of mine who knows these sort of things. Apparently, the effect that these kinds of drugs have on alzheimer's patients - allowing synapses to fire more easily through oxygen increase and the like - also have this effect on people without the disease. The effects of this are varied, but include:

Increase blood supply to the brain.

Increase oxygen delivered to the brain.

Enhance metabolism of brain cells.

Protect the brain from insufficient oxygen supply.

Slow the deposit of the age pigment lipofuscin in the brain.

Prevent free radical damage to brain cells.

Increase intelligence, memory, learning and recall.

While I can't say that I have tried this personally, I have heard it works. Check it out if you are desperate

Linkage: Hydergine

Winter

2006-12-02T02:13:00.000-05:00

Winter is here. This means that the three laws of cold weather come into application for anyone who lives in a state that gets a proper winter.

Law #1

Bad weather will only come when the weatherman predicts it will not. Unfortunatly, this law has a corollary. Whenever anyone thinks they have the system down, the weatherman suddenly becomes uncannily accurate. Such is the universe.

Law #2

The skills of drivers is inversely proportionate to the severity of the weather. This has nothing to do with the actual conditions of the road, but is a function of the brain. There is evidence to suggest that this law's effect is multiplied by the drivers perception of the "offroadiness" of their vehicle. Therefore, the dumb bitch with the 8 screaming kids in her suburban is going to be far more dangerous to you than the 97 year old, partly senile and heavily medicated guy in the Town Car next to you .

Law #3

The chances that your car is going to break down in the worst possible spot is directly related to a combination of the previous two laws. If you walk out of your house thinking it is going to be a clear sunny afternoon, you will no doubt find yourself bleeding in a snow filled ditch by the end of the day because your car broke down at dusk on the highway in a the unexpected storm and you were hit by the bitch in the suburban when you tried to get out to fix it.

So there. In retrospect, the culmination of these laws inevitably leads to the conclusion that everyone is going to die this winter except for the stupid people. This concludes our systematic destruction of the laws of natural selection and is in all likelihood causing Darwin to spin faster than Paris Hilton's eyes if you were to show her a math problem.

Scientology

2006-12-01T00:35:00.000-05:00

Scientology video link

After watching this video on Google earlier today, I decided to do a bit of research into the world of Scientology. What I found was nothing if not disturbing. As a (fairly) neutral party in the religious sense, I tried to be as impartial as I could in evaluating Scientology, but the results of my little foray into the practices of the religion were at the least startling and at the worst, downright frightening. The simplest of practices are reminiscent of classical and operant conditioning, which form the basis for hypnotic suggestion. As you advance in "exercises," which you can pass or fail, the conditioning becomes even clearer. Practices such as bull baiting and the disconnection of anyone who denounces the religion are used and taught, as can be seen in the video. Further reading reveals cases of suspected brainwashing and other cult practices.

The point that I am trying to make (and I encourage you do research on your own to this end) is that Scientology is a religion that breeds fanatics from the very beginning. Every major religion has fanatic or fundamentalist sects, those of Christianity and Islam being at the forefront of our collective consciousness, but Scientology is designed to have an imbalance from the beginning. Don't believe me? Enter the "Fair Game Law," introduced by L. Ron Hubbard -the founder of Scientology- in his Technical Dictionary. Fair Game -- A status assigned to those whom the Church of Scientology has officially declared to be S.P. One who has been declared "fair game" "may be deprived of property or injured by any means ... May be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed." Often claimed to have been cancelled in 1968, but in fact the letter that "cancelled" it specified that no policies on handling critics were changing, only the practice of using the term as "it causes bad public relations". As late as 1985 Church attorneys were arguing in court that "fair game" was actually a Constitutionally-protected "core practice" of Scientology.

This sounds familiar and it should. I suppose to put it into other context, the United States has been declared "fair game" by Al Quaeda. The Kurds were declared "fair game by the government under Saddam Hussein and people of Serbia "Fair Game by Slobodan Milosevic...
this list could continue for pages.

I encourage you to tell me if I am wrong, I hope I am.

Holiday Shopping

2006-11-24T23:08:00.000-05:00

(This entry is taken from the writings of a friend of mine, with permission)

Credit: Chris Remijan

---

Today was a learning experience, which I, walking blindly into, now appreciate.

Black Friday

It takes a special kind of human to stand outside of a retail store in irritatingly cold weather, waiting. I am not one of those human beings. To those hardcore shoppers, I salute you. It gives me hope, seeing such determination and will. It also frightens me. Over the curse of two hours in line at Circuit City, I slowly categorized different forms of shopping. There are, to be frank, hundreds of techniques. I will try to illustrate, for you dear reader, some of these models.

Molly: She is usually bright eyed, loud and unquestionably American even at three in the morning. Her vibrant red hair seems to defy the visible spectrum of color, and her freckles resemble a star chart. If a cup of coffee, laced with volt energy drink, and enriched uranium had a personality, she would most defiantly be Molly. I came to believe that Molly had very little faith in technology, because she continued to abuse her cell phone by electing to scream into it (yes, scream). I had the utmost luck in the fact that she was directly behind me in that two hour line.

Frantic Frank: Frank is the unshaven, not bathed, and generally distraught shopper. If the world were to be taken over by an alien invasion, he's the guy that gets clipped off in the first scene. No director would have him appear through out a whole film. Beware, Frantic Frank will cut in front of you, and then plead something about his bloody kids having a pleasant Christmas. Screw your kids, dude.

That Girl You Can Imagine Having a Relationship With: Not to be mistaken for a sexual endeavor only, this girl looks like she would make a good family member. She's quiet, alert (even at three in the morning), and she doesn't look half bad. Her modest purchase consists of only a few CDs and a card of memory. Unfortunately, her bum boyfriend walks over (not even being gentleman enough to stay in line with her) and embraces her, much to her detest. Thank God she was in front of me; otherwise, I would have killed Molly with a shelf support.

The Icelandic Speaking Elf: She's a stout, fierce, common abuser of the English language. Being non-American, however, means that she's at least somewhat tech savvy. She likes to check how much RAM there is in the laptops and laughs. I did enjoy, though, her common dialogue with her cell phone. It irritated me, not knowing what she was saying.

The New Mother/ Daughter-in-law: Nerves are high with this one. Like the feeling you get when you're watching Rambo for the first time. She is so concerned with not fucking up; she comes off as rude, pungent and irksome. She is usually accompanied by her new mother, as if they are trying to be friends. I could see in the mother's face her desire to batter her new daughter with cut glass.

The Patriot: At first glance, I mistook this elderly lady for an American flag, rolled in American flags. Ol' Glory covered her otherwise naked body. Undoubtedly she is against flag burning, but not against tailoring it to an Uncle Sam outfit. Oh yeah, that's her fifteen passenger SUV, with seventy three matching magnet ribbons on the tailgate in the parking lot. In the passion of being purely Americana, she has food and drink in hand, and is talking loudly. But who is going to be the terrorist that tells her to shut up? In her presence, I started to say things like "bloody" and "God save the Queen".

The Flailing Fairy: He or She is closely related to Molly. These people insist on using their cell phones to communicate to people that are ten feet away. If they cannot be easily seen, they start motioning an aircraft landing. With so many people waving their hands, I though I was at a hip-hop concert. Live rap sucks. So do these people.

That Girl You Go to High School With, But She Has No Idea What Your Name Is: At least you're granted a look into this celebrity's family life. Beauty doesn't fall far from the tree, but it does fade. She's full of cheer, because hey, she doesn't really have any problem getting service or attention. Meanwhile, I have to inflict self injury (preferably squirting blood) to get a clerk to tell me where the bathroom is. At any rate there's a pretty face to look at while I contemplate molly's death.

When I told the clerk they should give her a raise, it was laughed off. Is it that bad to be a nice guy? I later used the same line at Target, with a better response.